It’s been a few weeks since I’ve blogged, so here’s a short catch-up post. (It’s got bullet points and everything to stop it from turning into an essay…)
1. I am definitely saying goodbye to my therapy group, and my leaving date will be 28 March – just two sessions to go! In contrast to how he reacted when I first raised the issue, I’ve been pleased with Group Therapist’s response. Although he hopes I’ll change my mind and thinks staying in the group will help me, he’s been very respectful of my right to make my own decisions about what I need.
2. I started feeling a bit low a couple of weeks ago, following a very busy week at work. I decided to take this seriously rather than plough on regardless, and I took steps to reduce my workload. I am now 100% back to normal and enjoying a week’s annual leave – my first since September. When you’re self-employed and don’t get paid holidays it can be difficult to make yourself take time off without a ‘good reason’, but I’ve realised that simply needing a break is a good reason. Go me!
3. I’ve been reflecting a lot on ways I can reach out to other people more, which I feel is my main issue at the moment. My Christian faith is going to be very important here. More on that in its own blog post soon. 
4. I’ve found a book with an excellent-looking chapter on core beliefs that I also intend to work through. However, I definitely haven’t ruled out the option of getting individual therapy if I need it.
5. OH and I have an appointment at our local fertility clinic on Maundy Thursday, and it’s looking likely we’ll be starting treatment in a few months, although I need to taper off my mirtazapine first. I’m going to discuss a back-up plan with my GP in case coming off the meds makes me depressed again, and if I get pregnant I will be referred to the perinatal mental health service. I’ve told my parents about our plans to start a family using donor sperm and they were fully supportive. Hurrah!
That’s all for now, folks…
I’m glad that you were able to recognise when things were becoming too much and take steps to catch it before things got out of hand. It’s great to hear you’re taking a week off when you need to! Congrats on your family being supportive too. I hope the mirtazapine reduction goes ok, and I hope that whatever back-up plan you come up with with your GP isn’t needed – but if it is, I hope it’s one you feel reasonably comfortable with.
Thanks. I’ve now started reducing my mirtazapine in preparation for getting pregnant, and all is going well so far! The back-up plan, if it turns out I need antidepressants, will probably involve sertraline or fluoxetine, but my GP would consult with the psychiatrist and/or perinatal MH services first. I’m still quite wary of SSRIs but as my GP pointed out, things are very different now and citalopram seemed OK for me at a low dose. We also discussed psychological techniques for keeping me sane.
I hope the fertility treatment works for you, sending many good vibes!
Thank you!